Problem?
by PwnedByPineapple
Summary: At first it was like, Shizuo won! But then it was like, no - Izaya's just trollin'. Crack.


It was just one of those Ikebukuro days, this time overshadowed by gloomy rain, and Shizuo was trying to kill Izaya. Again.

Shizuo twirled a street sign and waited for his arch-nemesis to get up and make himself a target once more. He kept on waiting, and two seconds become ten became fifteen. When twenty seconds arrived, Shizuo frowned, slowly lowering the sign and resting it on the pavement. Though he was still in Izaya's presence, his anger was, oddly enough, fading. It was being replaced by suspicion and growing curiosity, because Izaya remained face-down on the sidewalk and it seemed like he hadn't moved an inch, though it was hard to tell in this drizzle.

Shizuo narrowed his eyes, peering more closely at the prone form of the man he hated. _No way. No fucking way._

It was a trick, of course, or else the bastard was just unconscious. But never _once_ had Shizuo managed to land a blow capable of that, so the possibility was pretty much out of the damn question. It was trickery, pure and simple, and Shizuo was not going to fall for something so stupidly juvenile.

Thirty seconds later, he approached cautiously, unable to resist investigation.

Izaya still did not move, not even when the distance between them was cut in half, not even when Shizuo was almost within striking range. Shizuo halted just outside of possible knife-reach, crouching down and inspecting his hated enemy from that distance. Izaya's eyes were closed; he looked exceptionally pale, almost discolored, and he didn't appear to be breathing.

Not breathing... there was _no. fucking. way._

Shizuo did not doubt his own abilities, but the flea was _way_ too good to have let himself be snuffed out by a blow like _that_. Shizuo hesitated once more, glancing furtively from side to side. Had he actually _killed _Izaya? Was the constant thorn in his side finally dead? It was a good thing no one was around; thanks to the weather, worrying about cops was not an issue right now. Shizuo reached forward, tense and ready to respond to any sudden movements on Izaya's part, and tried to find a pulse.

There was none. Shizuo rapidly pulled away, eyes widening as he rocked back on his heels and contemplated what this meant.

A more rational part of him was concerned, saying oh-shit-I-just-killed-someone-and-that-is-not-good, but a larger part was more along the lines of I-finally-got-you-you-little-rat-and-I-hope-you-burn-in-hell. A slow smile spread across his face. Yes. _Yes._ He'd won. The flea was _dead_, and Shizuo was free, blissfully free of that smirking bastard _at last_...

And then, _of course_... Izaya attacked him from behind.

Shizuo heard two things as he hit the nearest wall: the crack of his head and Izaya's mocking, delighted laughter. It was enough to drive him near into a frenzy again, although this was somewhat tempered by shock... because there was not one, but two Izayas, a laughing one standing over his dead counterpart.

Perhaps that should be repeated for further emphasis: _**two Izayas**_.

_**TWO.**_

Words could not fully express how unbelievably, murderously pissed Shizuo was at that. "You… you…" he spluttered, looking around furiously for his street sign. "WHAT THE HELL?"

"Oh, Shizu-chan, dear Shizu-chan… I just _knew_ you'd fall for that." The laughing Izaya, still chuckling, bent down over his dead counterpart and seemed to be administering some sort of drug through a syringe into his lifeless doppelganger's neck. Shizuo should have gotten up and attacked then, should have killed the damn flea for real, but he _had _to know. Who the hell went this far to pull something like that?

Oh, that's right. Izaya did.

A moment later, the "dead" Izaya began to stir, cracking open his eyes. "Urgh… what? Did it work?"

Izaya smirked at Shizuo. "It worked very well," he said, offering his hand and helping his wobbly doppelganger to his feet. "Your fee was well worth it."

"You _hired_ a fucking _actor_?" Shizuo demanded, climbing slowly to his feet.

"The resemblance is startling, isn't it?" Izaya said merrily. "Makeup goes a long way."

And with the rain and the haze… Shizuo would never have guessed. _Damn _the flea.

"Well now," Izaya said to his doppelganger. "There's only one thing left to do."

"What's that?"

"Run!"

With a cry of rage, Shizuo lunged for his dropped street sign and, grabbing it, swung it around with the intent of smashing his nemesis. But the two Izayas were already on the move, and it was pretty obvious which one was the real one, because that one was laughing his head off. "Thanks for playing, Shizu-chan!" he called over his shoulder.

Practically seeing red now, Shizuo cursed himself for a fool and pursued, intent on _real_ bloody murder now.


End file.
